I thought I was going to die this morning.
The pain in my abdomen was causing me to pass in and out, my temperature was so high I felt like I was playing roulette with the sun, I was drenched in a cold swear that made me feel as if I was drowning, and every now and then I would keel over in moans trying to subside the pain.
The only thought running through my mind was what if I do die. I wanted to tell my family I loved them and I wanted to hold my best friend for the last time. I wanted to curl up in his arms and let him hold and comfort me until I fell asleep.
I didn't want to die. Dying-as stated in a previous post-entails leaving. No return. As John Green writes in his novel The Fault In Our Stars, "I fear oblivion."
Fortunately for me, I did not die. Although it felt very similar to dying, I managed to push through the pain and keep my act together. But in those moments all I longed for was a human touch. And not just any human either, him.
His very being has been locked and sealed into my brain like my favorite song lyrics. I see him etched into my skin like a love letter read a million times but I still can't get enough.
Dramatic? Yes. Cheesy? Yes.
But do I love him? Unconditionally.
And it only took a little death to realize I needed him.
